i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
