if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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