I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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