I can tuck mytits in my pants
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
