I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
