I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
