I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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