it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
