i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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