8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
