Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize