I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
