she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
