Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
