Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
