We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
