I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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