Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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