im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
