I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
