i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
