The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
