READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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