Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
