doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just found a bag of teeth...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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