But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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