so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
