AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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