she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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