i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
