I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
