Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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