he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
