Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
