Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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