Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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