No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
