smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If I die, sorry about rent.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
