I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
