I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
