and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
