He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
