Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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