please come you make the beer taste better
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
