Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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