even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize