Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
