Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
