Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
