one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
