so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
